5 ways to say 'I don't give a f*ck', a la Sheldon Cooper

1. Oh wow. You are such a dumbf*ck that I could almost shove you up a pig ass right now and then give it a gelusil so it wouldn't puke you out!



2. There. I gave a f*uck. Happy?



3. I so don't give a f*uck and so I will give you the tongue! Just for you, I will throw in a little eye too.



4. You can't possibly still think I give a f*uck. Did I not make myself clear enough?



5. Your world would have been so much better had I given a f*ck, but, I don't. Friends?



6. Bonus: Oh man, I am so fucking tired of your lameass tomfoolery that If I din't have to lick your ass for a promotion, I would have told you in 5 different ways, how I don't give a f*uck."

5 struggles that girls who are ‘one of the dudes’ go through

Le friends: Let’s walk from Jadavpur Thana to Dhakuia.

Le me: I can’t.

Le Friends: Why not?

Le me: I am wearing heels.

Le friends:  Oh, Stop being such a girl.

Le me: ??!!

Le friends: You look different.

Le me: Really? (getting excited) How so?

Le friends: Is that lipstick? Seriously, you are wearing lipstick? Dude, check this out, she is wearing lipstick. (Bursts into laughter)

Le me: ?!!??!!???

Le friends: Why don’t you stay back tonight?

Le me: I can’t. I didn’t get a change of clothes.

Le friends:  You will sleep in my bumchums.

Le me (Looking at the underwear and shorts pile-up): Aaahh, no thanks. I am used to sleeping in my denims.

Le friends coming over unannounced: Dude, let’s go out and grab a beer.

Le me (embarrassed and trying to hide girly stuff and hoping he wouldn’t notice): yeah, sure, why not.

Le friend (Noticing): I thought only we guys keep our underwears strewn around.

Le me (muttering under breath): So now you notice I am a girl!

Scene: Friends returning after Booze marathon.

Le Friend 1: Man I need to pee (stops car, gets down, pees, comes back)

Le Friend 2: Man I need to pee (Same drill)

Le Friend 3: Man I need to pee (Same drill)

Le me: Guys, I need to pee.

Le friends stop car.

Awkward silence.

Le friends: Let’s get you home.

More awkward silence.

  

  

Cute Guy post #3

Cute guy taking driving lesson almost mows me down. I stop dead in my track, look at him, flash him a smile and marvel at the intricacies of human mind.

5 things erstwhile Orkut users will identify with.

An obit to our first step into the wilderness called Social Networking. Paying respects to Orkut

So, you remember the times you fought with the sister over the number of scraps you had? Or the days you spent convincing your friends, "I will write you a testimonial if you write me one?" And the times you would strive to up your coolness quotient to a 3 star? Well gone are the days… ummm… if they weren’t gone already. Because, Google has finally decided to take suo moto cognizance of Orkut’s irrelevance in the regular netizen’s life and decided to put it to sleep. September 30 is the last you can access your account and you have till then top recover all your data (and thus relive the gone-by era). What was that song again? Wake me up, when September ends…. Was it? Ah well…

5 things now embarrassed Orkut users will identify with:

1. That story doing the rounds that Orkut was created by this old dude who had lost contact with his lady love and built this social networking site only to launch a search for her

2. The fact that you had to bug your more-technologically-advanced friend (duh!) to send you an invite before you could join Orkut.

3. Disguise was super cool. Using the picture of your fave hero as the profile picture? Naming your Orkut avatar RaatJaagaTara or BatmanNoShit? That was the norm. You see, it was our first venture out into the unknown (read: social networking) and security was a concern!

4. When a friend left Orkut (of course only to return three days later), the mourning of the lost scraps and the heart-attack that accompanied the falling behind on the number-of-scraps competition.

5. You don’t remember your Orkut password anymore. In fact, you don’t even remember whether your account is still active or you decided to put it to sleep once your FB account had more than 100 friends. And the your first reaction to the news of Orkut shutting down was, “What will happen to my pictures!”

Cute Guy post #2

Cute guy from office just flashed a heavenly smile at me. It's raining crazy outside. #TotalPhilmy

Cute Guy post #1

Cute Guy just poached my cab. Should I have asked for a lift? #WhatIf